


Walk This World Alone

by aesthetic_boy



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frerard, M/M, Peterick, Slow Build, bert is gonna be an ass, frank is sassy, mikey is popular af, pete and patrick are good and pure boys, ray owns a comic book store, yes i know pete wentz signed panic but i wanted to include them as a band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-10-16 00:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetic_boy/pseuds/aesthetic_boy
Summary: Gerard Way is a loner- he doesn't need or want friends.Then Frank joins the school and everything changes.[Warnings: mild homophobia, mentions of a (mild) eating disorder]





	1. My Perfect Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Obvious disclaimer: my portrayal of characters and their personalities/views in this fanfiction are in no way meant to resemble them in real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the first chapter of my new fic! it's going to be my first multi-chapter, so i hope you enjoy!  
> (this chapter is kinda bad but i swear it gets better)  
> Title song: "Spotlight (New Regrets)", Patrick Stump

"Is this seat taken?"  
Gerard glanced up to see a vaguely nervous-looking boy chewing on a lip ring- which was totally against school regulations, not that he seemed to care. A new kid, then. He nodded once- this kid would learn sooner or later that Gerard Way wasn't someone to talk to- and waited until he had gone before spreading his stuff over onto the second half of the double desk. The seat was taken by Gerard's hatred of other people, not an actual person.  
Once the class was over, Gerard grabbed his stuff and left as fast as he could, like he did after every lesson. He could see the new guy- Frank, he was pretty sure his name was- glaring at him, probably partially because Gerard had basically told him to screw off and partially because someone had probably told him that Gerard was an asshole who he shouldn't talk to. Which Gerard didn’t care about. At least he'd be left alone.

***

Fourth period, Gerard had art, the only actually good subject on his timetable. Not only did he like art, the teacher didn't care if he sat at the back of the class wearing headphones (even though you weren't allowed phones in class). Most other people got yelled at for it, but Gerard didn't.  
He was invisible and he loved every second of it.  
The theme they'd been given for the next two weeks was 'love'- which was total crap, in Gerard's opinion, so he was planning on doing something with blood. He settled down in his seat and hit play on his music.  
_Are you worth your weight in gold? 'Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone…_  
When the bell rang, he put the paper into his portfolio folder then went to lunch, dropping the folder in his locker on the way.  
Lunch had been basically the same since the sixth grade. Gerard sat at a table in the corner with people who were currently out of favour with their current friendship groups (if there were any), not talking to any of them. The only difference now- five years later- was that there were two regulars at his lunch table.  
Patrick gave him a small smile when he sat down, like always, even though Gerard never smiled back. He never smiled, period.  
Patrick and Pete had been rejected by their friendship group freshman year when they started dating. Gerard had never spoken to them, but they sat together at the same table in the same seats every day. They were possibly the nicest guys in the entire school- the two years they'd been sitting together, he'd never heard them talk crap about another person, unlike _every other person in the goddamn place._  
But he still didn't talk to them. It was easier that way.

***

It was the end of the day, and Gerard was just collecting his jacket from his locker when he noticed someone standing next to him.  
"Hey. Asshole kid. Gerard."  
Gerard looked over to see Frank- he was _really_ short, he noticed- and glared at him.  
"The hell do you want?"  
"You could have just said you didn't want me to sit by you. Didn't have to make up some shitty excuse," Frank told him, pushing his hair out of his eyes and not looking at all like an awkward new kid.  
"I'll remember that next time I want you to fuck off. Oh. Wait. That's now." Gerard turned and walked off, not looking back.  
Yeah, he'd get left alone now.

***

Once he got home, Gerard started his homework- one of the positives of having no friends or social life meant that he was always on top of his work. Mikey managed to juggle his social life and homework. Gerard doubted he'd be able to do that.  
Everyone liked Mikey. Even though he wore black skinny jeans and was nice to the outcast kids and had a brother like Gerard. He was popular, optimistic and always had a partner in group projects.  
Basically, the polar opposite of Gerard. Also the only person he could bear to talk to for more than thirty seconds at a time.  
About halfway through Gerard's English essay, Mikey came in to get Gerard to check his math homework, which took about two seconds, but Mikey stayed around.  
"How was school? And don't say nothing, because _something_ must have happened, even if it was just your teacher setting you too much work or whatever."  
"We got a new kid," Gerard replied, staring at his laptop screen absentmindedly.  
"Someone you're friends with? Or want to be friends with?" Mikey asked, looking interested.  
"I don't want to be friends with anyone."


	2. So I Keep The Words Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back y'all! (if anyone is even reading this) I'm assuming I'll have this done by the time I go on holiday (for a week), but I won't be uploading for a while because I'm going somewhere without a PC, I don't own a laptop and it's impossible to upload from my phone. But I digress. Hope you enjoy!  
> Title Song: "Austen", As It Is

The next day, first period English, Frank was sitting with Bert. Talking to him, in fact.

Not like Gerard cared who Frank talked to, obviously. But Bert was a first-class asshole and anyone who talked to him was bound to end up like him, if they weren't already. 

Whatever. Gerard didn't want or need friends anyway, especially not short punk kids with lip rings and no regard for the unspoken rule that _nobody talked to Gerard Way, ever._

Gerard tried to concentrate on the class, but he could feel someone staring at him. He turned around in his seat- and Frank was staring at him, not looking remotely embarrassed that Gerard had caught him. Gerard stuck his middle finger up at him and turned back around in his seat. 

But it stuck with him throughout the whole day, Frank's eyes locked on his, and Gerard didn't like it. He shouldn't be thinking about him, except maybe to be pissed off at him. Which he wasn't, not really, no matter how hard he tried to be. He was just sorry for the kid- that was it- because he wasn't going to get any friends if he acted even _remotely_ interested in Gerard's existence.

 

***

 

The next day, Frank came and sat by Gerard in English.

"The hell are you doing?" Gerard asked. A few people laughed.

"What does it look like?"

"Nobody sits by me. In any class. Ever."

"Well, now they do," Frank replied, smiling at him. No-one outside of his family had smiled at him in _years,_ so that was why Gerard felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach, not… anything else. Gerard didn't let this show, like with every other emotion- just rolled his eyes and let Frank sit next to him.

The teacher walked in and Gerard swore she looked surprised when she looked over at his desk and saw somebody next to him. _Me too,_ Gerard thought.

Part-way through the class, the teacher set a topic for paired discussion. Normally, Gerard would just sit and make notes by himself, so that was what he did.

"Rude," Frank muttered under his breath, obviously intended for Gerard to hear.

"What did you expect? You sat by me. I didn't ask you to."

"I'm assuming you're well aware that you're an actual asshole?"

Gerard didn't reply.

"At least let me copy your notes," Frank sighed, sounding fed up. Gerard didn't blame him.

"Be my guest."

Gerard pushed his notebook towards Frank, curling the fingers of his free hand around the sleeve of his sweater under the desk. He didn't know why he cared that Frank was annoyed at him- pretty much everyone was for one reason or another- but it was different with Frank. For some reason.

 

***

 

The moment the school day was over, Gerard put his earphones in and started playing music as loud as he could without damaging his ears. So he almost didn't notice the person walking next to him.

"Hi," Frank smiled. Gerard didn't deserve to be smiled at, not after how rude he'd been in class today, but he wasn't complaining.

"Hey," Gerard muttered.

"What are you listening to, then?"

"You probably don't know them," Gerard responded.

"Try me."

"They're called Panic! At The Disco." Gerard waited for the confused _who?_ look Mikey said he got whenever he talked about music to people. But Frank just nodded and started talking about how he though Ryan Ross was _totally_ a better songwriter than Brendon, and asking Gerard what his favourite album was. 

They ended up having something like a conversation, which was something Gerard hadn't had with people outside of his family since the sixth grade. Mainly, he just let Frank talk at him, asking him questions.

"You don't talk much," Frank commented.

Gerard just shrugged awkwardly. "We're at my house…"

"Oh, right. See you at school, then."

"Yeah. Okay," Gerard pushed open his gate and started walking up the path whilst trying to walk out what had actually just happened.


	3. I've Got Arrogance Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'd have a break while I was on holiday, but I did the first draft in Wales… this chapter is a bit shorter (it only runs to about half the length of the first one), but I did it for the cliffhanger :) Also, thanks to misguided_trash for agreeing to beta the rest of this story! Enjoy.  
> Title song: "I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me", Fall Out Boy

It was Friday. The end of another hellish week. But instead of doing what he normally did and rejoicing at the prospect of not seeing anyone from school for two days, Gerard was talking to one of them.

Usually, anyone who tried to talk to him (which never really happened, at any rate) would find themselves alone within about ten seconds. Frank was different, though- Gerard didn't know why, but had a vague suspicion that it was down to feelings that weren't exactly just friendly, which he was currently trying to ignore. Feeling _anything_ towards _anyone,_ from what he'd been through, never worked out well. Doubly true for feeling anything… well, anything _more._

Frank was talking about some Green Day song he was learning on guitar but paused, then said, "Y'know, I don't know why people don't talk to you. You're actually. Well. Kinda nice," Frank added.

Gerard's first thought was _did Bert not tell him?_ Because Frank still talked to Bert, sat with him at lunch, and Gerard had been sure that Bert would have told Frank everything he knew that might put Frank off talking to Gerard. Especially what happened in sixth grade.

Apparently not.

So Gerard retreated back into himself, putting back up any defences he'd let go down in Frank's presence.

"Nobody talks to me because I don't want them to," Gerard snapped. "No exceptions. You're just here because you won't fuck off and I'm tired of asking you to."

Frank looked like he'd been slapped. "Gerard-"

"No. You're not listening to me. I don't need anyone. I don't need friends or you or your goddamn sympathy. Stop talking to me. You'll get no friends that way- you've only been here a week, it's not irreversible." Talking to Frank had been a mistake, he knew that now. A mistake for the both of them.

Frank looked angry, but when he spoke his voice sounded choked. On the verge of tears. "Yeah. Okay. I get it," he muttered, before walking off, shoulders hunched. As Gerard watched him go, he saw Frank wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Gerard felt something he hadn't felt in years- guilt. Which didn't make sense. Sure, he could kind of understand having a romantic crush (God, he hated those words) on Frank, but he was pretty sure you had to like someone to feel bad about upsetting them- you didn't, from his experience, have to like a person to find them attractive. And he didn't like Frank. He was just another person. That was it.


	4. Ex-Friends 'Til The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't exactly have an upload schedule, in case you were wondering- I just plan, write, edit a bit, send it to Yuri to beta, probably edit again then upload. I try to upload once a week, though, and so far I'm sticking to that! Let's see how long that lasts… this chapter is a little short as well, probably because the last one was. Anyway, hope you enjoy!  
> Title Song: "Bang The Doldrums", Fall Out Boy

The next day, Gerard was sitting behind the counter at Ray's Comic Book Store, reading the latest issue of Doom Patrol and hoping that nobody came in.

His Saturday job was probably his favourite part of the weekend- everything else was just homework and not having friends. All he had to do was help kids find the graphic novels they wanted and ring stuff up on the register.

The owner of the store was Ray, a tall guy with a permanently messy afro whose nerdiness was almost as obnoxious as his sarcasm. Or, to put it another way, one of the only people Gerard would be able to put up working for.

Gerard vaguely heard the door open, but didn't look up.

"Excuse me?"

_Shit._

It was Frank.

Gerard had planned on not talking to him again, seeing as Frank probably hated him and Gerard could go back to talking to nobody. The way he'd been going about his life since sixth grade. How he liked it.

"Yeah?" Gerard replied. Best to try and treat him like another customer.

"Do you have Death Note?" Frank asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. _Cute,_ Gerard thought, then dismissed it.

"Just over here…" Gerard got up from behind the counter and led Frank over to where the manga was.

"Thanks," Frank responded, the back of his hand brushing against Gerard's. Gerard flinched away, hoping he wasn't blushing. Seeing the amusement in Frank's eyes, though, he probably was. "Do you know any music stores near here?" Gerard was about to snap back with a sarcastic comment along the lines of _How could you not know your way around this tiny-ass town?_ , but remembered that Frank had only just moved here. He'd cut him some slack, then.

"There's one just around the corner. I'm on my break in-" Gerard checked the time on his phone. "-ten minutes. I can take you there…" He trailed off. This wasn't the sort of thing he would normally do, and Frank looked surprised.

"Sure," Frank replied, handing over the money for his book.

"Ray!" Gerard called into the back room. "Can I take my lunch break early?"

Ray walked out of the back room, glancing at Frank, who was amusingly short next to him. "Fine, fine. Go take your shortass boyfriend out to lunch or whatever."

"He's not my boyfriend," Gerard muttered.

"Sure, kid. Get back on time."

Gerard sighed and led Frank out of the store. "You're red," Frank commented, grinning at him.

"Fuck off," Gerard replied, glaring at Frank half-heartedly. It was hard to be mad at someone who was so _cute._ Okay, he really needed to stop thinking right now. He was definitely annoyed at him, though. Or something.

As they continued to walk, Frank caught his eye and smiled. _This is why I don't spend time around other people._ They were too… nice. Frank didn't know everything. He'd be gone soon enough.

Gerard shouldn't care about that, but he did.

"It's just here..." Gerard gestured towards the store.

"Right. Thanks," Frank paused like he was going to say something, but didn't. He turned to go and Gerard realised what he had to say.

"Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"I- I'm sorry," Gerard muttered, "for being all rude and everything. I just think you shouldn't talk to me. Go get friends."

"I do talk to other people. And," Frank added chewing on his lip, "you are my friend. Or I'd like it if you were."

Gerard just stared at him for a moment- this small punk kid who had called him an asshole before his actual name- shrugged, turned away and started his walk back to the store.


	5. Love, It Will Get You Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is (I think) the longest one I've written so far, to make up for the last two chapters being super short and being a tiny bit later than when I normally upload. I've been internally yelling about all the new music that's come out this week! Also, props to you if you get the Animal Farm reference in Pete's drawing.  
> Title Song: "Psycho", Muse

As Gerard sat in his homeroom class on Monday morning, he was thinking about Frank. Which was not good.

He knew what he was going to do. Just stop talking to Frank. He'd never talked to the people he'd had a crush on before, and he'd gotten over them pretty quickly. So, obviously, he should do that with Frank. It would be easy enough, he assumed- Frank would happily ditch him to go and get in with Bert's crowd. Even when he had had friends, he was always second-best to somebody.

Not like he cared, seeing as the people he used to talk to were assholes. Every last one of them.

When the bell rang for the start of first period, he made his way to English, sitting down in his usual seat. A few seconds later, Frank came in and sat by him.

"Hey," Frank smiled at him. Gerard wasn't used to getting smiled at. He just looked away. "You okay?"

 _What?_ "Why do you care?" Gerard muttered.

"Why do you not care that you're being a bitch?" Frank shot back instantly. He paused. "Was the rest of your weekend alright?"

"Fine. You?" Gerard returned, then realised he was talking to Frank, like he'd promised himself he wouldn't.

Too late now.

***

By the time Gerard had his art class, he was still mad at himself. He scrolled through the albums on his phone before deciding on Pretty. Odd. It was his go-to album when he was upset or stressed or mad, because that whole album was so damn optimistic. At least some people had a good life at one point or another. He always got brought back to reality at some point, though. Life was never as good as it was in songs about love, because love was bullshit.

Gerard had finished planning his painting and had just started on the background when his teacher came up to him to talk to him- which was a rare occurrence. Assuming it was because she was finally going to tell him to not listen to music in class, Gerard turned around with a flat expression.

"So, Gerard. Can you tell me about your painting? How it relates to love?" Or not. Okay. Gerard indicated the smaller practice copy on the side next to his easel. The teacher looked surprised. "What does this represent?"

Gerard considered the question for a second before answering. "That people have too high expectations of love. They think it can do something. Stop wars, all of that. That's why they're surrounded by blood. Everyone thinks that love is more than a word. It's just made up." That was the most he'd talked in class, ever, and he could see a few people staring at him from the surrounding tables. His teacher just thanked him and moved on to talk to somebody else- probably someone like Pete, who was doing something that involved about twenty different markers in rainbow shades (from what Gerard could see) and would no doubt say something about what love meant to him that was positive and exactly what his teacher wanted to hear.

Gerard carried on painting.

At the end of the class, as Gerard was walking out, he caught a glance of Pete's drawing.

A half-finished drawing of a boy curled in the corner of his page, bleeding rainbow blood from cuts all over his body. And scrawled pencil words, yet to be outlined, that read 'All love is equal, but some love is more equal than others.'

_Oh._

***

"Hey. Gerard."

"What?" Gerard removed his headphones. He'd tried to avoid Frank at school for the rest of the day, which had been mainly successful, as they had no classes apart from English together and didn't sit together at lunch.

"You don't happen to be any good at algebra, do you?" Frank asked.

"I'm alright," Gerard replied. "Why?"

"Because I don't understand what happened in class today, like, at all."

"Just Google it or something."

"Gerard, you dipshit, I'm asking for your help."

Gerard Blinked. "Oh. Right. Okay." Frank laughed. He had a cute laugh, Gerard noticed, then wished that he hadn't.

"Can I just come back to your house, then?" Gerard hadn't realised that he'd ask that, and he felt a slight flash of panic at the thought of Frank seeing his room- the art stuck all over his walls and clothes on the floor.

"Fine. We stay downstairs."

Gerard could see Frank looking around as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, kicking off his shoes. Mikey was sitting in the kitchen with his feet on the table. Without even looking up, he said, "By the way, I finished the coffee."

"Asshole," Gerard muttered. "Move."

Mikey finally noticed Frank, who was standing slightly behind Gerard. "Oh. Hi. Are you the new kid Gee mentioned?" Gerard shot him a look that hopefully read _Do not,_ but Mikey just smiled as he grabbed his laptop and left.

Frank turned to him. " _Gee?_ "

"Oh, fuck off. We're here to do math."

Gerard spent maybe an hour talking through Frank's homework with him, in which time Frank screwed up about four pieces of paper and swore more than Gerard had heard anyone swear, ever.

"Well, thanks," Frank told him as he started to put his stuff back in his bag.

"Yeah, well, you can go now." Gerard tried not to catch his eye. Frank left and a few seconds later Gerard heard the door shut.

Out of boredom, Gerard unscrewed one of the pieces of paper. He read what was written on the paper, then reread it.

Because on the paper, instead of any algebraic equations, there was a phone number.

_Well, shit._


	6. The Kids Who Are Dead Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading back through the first few chapters and they're so awkwardly written... thanks y'all who have stuck with this :) Also, I have exams in a week, so I may be a little slow to update because of revision/less time to plan, but they're only for a week so it shouldn't be too bad.  
> Title Song: "Cheap Shots and Setbacks", As It Is

Gerard had been staring at his phone for the last ten minutes, wondering if he should text Frank or just save his number or do nothing or _what._

This was another reason why Gerard had been glad he had no friends. None of this confusion.

Okay. He was just being stupid. He created a new contact, then sent Frank a message. _Hi._

Frank: _gerard?_

Gerard: _Yeah_

Gerard: _Why did you leave your number?_

Frank: _idk_

Frank: _thought it was worth a shot_

Gerard: _Okay…_

Frank: _anyway can i wait for you before school tomorrow_

Gerard: _Why?_

Frank: _i like company_

Gerard: _Well, I don't._

Gerard shut off his phone and stared at the ceiling. He didn't understand why Frank kept trying to talk to him. Hell, maybe he just wanted to see how much of a freak Gerard was. Maybe Bert _had_ told him why Gerard was a reject after all and Frank was just talking to him so he could laugh about it with his actual friends later.

He was already counting down the days until the weekend- sure, homework sucked, but he had his job and he could just stay inside and not speak to anyone who had anything to do with school.

Right. He was going to start that essay.

***

The next day, Frank came and sat by him in English, like always, but said nothing. Gerard watched him out of the corner of his eye cautiously. Frank normally started talking as soon as he saw Gerard.

The teacher hadn't showed up and Gerard was about to start drawing on a spare page of his notebook or something when Frank said, "Y'know, you can be a total bitch sometimes."

"What did I- oh," Gerard realised.

"Look, I get that you don't want me around you, but you could be a bit nicer about it." Frank bit on his bottom lip.

"It's not that-" Gerard started, but was interrupted by the loud _thump_ of books falling on the floor. Patrick's textbook was on the floor and Bert was standing by his desk, smirking. It wasn't exactly difficult to work out what had happened.

"C'mon, pick it up," some kid in the back row called out. Gerard remembered when things like that used to happen to him. Before he mastered the art of being invisible.

In some ways, it was almost Patrick's fault. He and Pete didn't have to be openly a couple. People at school were assholes, but they weren't helping themselves.

Gerard wanted to ask Frank whether he was still friends with Bert after what he'd just done, but it was obvious- why wouldn't he? Frank probably agreed with what Bert was doing, that gay people didn't deserve his respect. Most people here were like that.

As much as he'd like for Frank to be different, Gerard highly doubted it.

***

"Can I sit here?"

Gerard looked up from his lunch. "What the fuck?" he asked lightly.

Frank rolled his eyes and sat down next to him. "I look stupid just standing there, so I'm here until you tell me to go away."

Gerard was pretty sure that people were staring, but he just sighed.

"Don't you- aren't you friends with Bert?" Pete asked, looking at Frank, who just shrugged offhandedly while taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I mean, he's okay," Frank replied. Pete winced and turned back to his conversation with Patrick. "What did Bert do to him?"

"He's just… I don't know. Some people don't like him. I don't ever talk to these guys." Gerard gestured slightly toward Patrick and Pete.

"You sit on the same table, like, every day."

"They just came over here one day. We don't talk. I told you, nobody does."

"Right. I just thought you were exaggerating or something, to try and get me to go away," Frank muttered, casting his eyes away. Gerard, stupidly, kept looking at him for a second, before realising what he was doing and carrying on with his lunch.

He needed to stop.


	7. I Don't Still Make You Blush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've managed to get this chapter out on time! Can we all appreciate Frank's character… he's such a nice boy and I want to hug him. And he puts up with how rude Gerard can be at times. Anyway, enjoy!  
> Title Song: "Burning Up", Marianas Trench

_A week later_

"Gerard!" his mom yelled up the stairs. Gerard groggily rolled over and stared at his clock for a few minutes before realising that he was twenty minutes late getting out of bed and probably wouldn't get to eat breakfast this morning.

Great.

He left the house with his hair still wet from the shower and probably at least one piece of homework still on his desk. His teachers ignored him anyway. He doubted they'd even notice if he handed in anything late. Although, to think about it, they probably hated him because he never participated in class and did just about enough work to stay in his honors classes. He'd gotten about three talks this semester from teachers who thought he could 'do better'. Sure, he _could_ , but that would make him stand out, and standing out was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do.

"Hey," Gerard heard over the noise of his music. He looked to one side to see Frank smiling at him. Frank tapped his arm. "Gee."

Gerard removed his headphones. "Do not."

Frank just laughed, one corner of his moth pulling up higher than the other. Frank's laugh was really fucking cute, actually. Gerard couldn't really be annoyed at him.

"Your hair is really messy…" Frank reached over and started brushing out Gerard's hair with his fingers as they walked. He could feel his face burning.

"Frank. Stop."

"Okay, okay," Frank sighed. "You're blushing."

"Please shut up."

"You blush a lot, actually. I wouldn't have expected you to be the sort of person that did-" Frank cut himself off to stare at Gerard, a slight smile playing on his lips. Gerard was pretty sure that he'd gone even redder and tried in vain to ignore his gaze on his face.

They had reached school- thankfully, with ten minutes left until homeroom started- and Frank smiled at him. "See you in English," Frank said, before walking off down the hall.

Gerard definitely wasn't staring after him. Not at all.

***

Frank had come back to Gerard's for help with his algebra again.

"Is this going to be a regular thing?" Gerard asked him.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," Frank replied, smirking slightly. Gerard ignored him. "Y'know, we could go to your room…"

Gerard bit his lip. He didn't want Frank to see his room- it was a mess of art supplies and comics, not the sort of thing he wanted Frank to associate with him- it was the sort of thing that Gerard knew was considered sad, especially for a guy.

But despite that, Gerard found himself agreeing and walking along the hall and down the stairs to the door of his room.

"My room is in the basement…" he explained, running a hand through his hair awkwardly and feeling stupid, which was a feeling he was getting used to around Frank.

"Oh, right. Cool."

Gerard pushed open the door and Frank leaned past him. "It's kind of a mess…" Gerard mumbled.

"Nice," Frank commented. "Did you draw these yourself? They're really good."

"Yeah," Gerard muttered, staring at his feet.

They sat on Gerard's floor for a while as he talked Frank through his math, before Frank paused and started chewing on his nail. "Gee?" Frank asked. Gerard was going to tell him to stop, but he couldn't be bothered. "Look, I know you get annoyed whenever I ask about this, but, like, that means there was something, wasn't there? A reason that people don't talk to you?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Gerard shot back. He could feel panic slowly building in his stomach.

"You don't have to tell me, but," Frank paused, "I'd listen, if you wanted to tell me."

"Shut up. You don't care." Gerard noticed he'd gone too far when he saw Frank's expression drop. "Shit, Frank, I'm sorry…" Gerard sighed, putting his head on his knees. After a few seconds, Gerard felt pressure on his shoulders. He was confused for a second, then realized Frank had his arm around his shoulders, pulling Gerard into his side. He froze for a second- he wasn't used to this level of physical contact, or any at all- before leaning into Frank, pressing his face into Frank's sweater. "I don't want to fuck up the first friendship I've had in years, alright?"

"You won't. I promise."

Gerard curled his fingers around his sleeves. "It's because they found out I… I'm gay," Gerard whispered, hoping Frank didn't hear him.

"That's okay," Frank replied, wrapping his arms properly around Gerard, hugging him. "That's okay."


	8. I'm Stupid For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As expected, exams did put me a little behind schedule. I might be a bit behind for the next few weeks, as I'm going to Pride next weekend and I'm going on holiday for most of half term (which is the week after). I'll try and stay on top of everything, though!  
> Title Song: "Stupid For You", Waterparks

Gerard pushed himself up from Frank's chest. "Did you hear me right?"

"Yeah. I did. Gee, I don't- I couldn't care less about your sexuality. Alright?" Frank sighed. "Jesus, that's why people don't talk to you? Assholes."

"Not everyone knows," Gerard replied, picking at a hole in his jeans he's only just noticed. "It was just Bert and his group. They stopped speaking to me and I couldn't be bothered to find other friends. Nobody wanted to talk to me, anyway. I was just Bert's pity friend…" Gerard trailed off. He hadn't meant to say that much. He was stupid. Maybe Frank would just go now, he half-hoped, but Frank was looking at him with some form of sympathy.

"Like I said," Frank said after a second, "Assholes."

***

Once Frank had left, Gerard lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't know what was going on with him and Frank. It was too late to just ignore Frank. He'd already tried that, and it hadn't worked. Frank was confusing him- Gerard didn't understand why he would speak to him, even after he'd been such a bitch. He remembered Frank hugging him, the feeling of his sweater against his cheek, the realised what he was thinking. He still hadn't gotten over this… this attraction, and it was annoying him. He really needed to _stop_ , but Frank was actually a nice person and-

Gerard stopped. He'd basically just admitted to himself that he actually liked Frank, as in _liked him as a person and wanted to spend time around him_ liked. This had been exactly on what he'd been planning on not happening. _He was just another person,_ Gerard remembered thinking. But he wasn't, not really. Other people hated him.

Frank, for whatever reason, didn't.

***

The next day at school, Frank came and sat by him at lunch.

He hadn't eaten lunch with him since that one time last week, when they hadn't talked for the rest of lunch.

This lunchtime, however, Frank incessantly talked at Gerard until he unwillingly responded.

"Warning was better," Gerard mumbled.

Frank pulled a face. "I mean, it was pretty great. But dude, c'mon, American Idiot basically saved the band."

Gerard just shrugged. Frank was really cute when he was passionate about something and he didn't want to get in the way of that. The way his face lit up when he was talking about something he cared about was something Gerard wanted to see more, but he sucked so much at holding a conversation that it didn't happen that often.

Frank turned and smiled at him, one corner of his mouth pulling up slightly higher than the other.

Gerard stared at the table to try and hide his blush. It probably didn't work.

***

Gerard didn't know why, but for some reason Frank was coming back to his house again. It wasn't math related, so he assumed it was a friend thing, which he wasn't used to.

"Hi Gee, hi Gerard's short boyfriend," Mikey commented as they walked into the house.

"Not my boyfriend," Gerard replied flatly, hitting his brother lightly in the arm. Mikey just shrugged, raising his eyebrows slightly.

In Gerard's room, Frank picked a comic off of Gerard's bed. "Can I read this?"

Gerard shrugged. "Sure."

Frank perched on the edge of his bed and began flipping through it idly. "You have a decent taste in comics. Oh, this is good," he added, taking a piece of sketchbook paper from the pages and holding it up. It was just a stupid copy of a panel Gerard had done last night out of boredom, after finishing his homework.

"It's not really…"

"You have talent, seriously," Frank told him. Gerard felt heat rising in his cheeks and turned away.

"My goal in life is to get you to blush every day from now on," Frank informed him, smirking. "Anyway, I'm going to read this."

A few hours later, Frank was lying on Gerard's bed with a book propped up on the pillow, while Gerard sat at the end of the bad, leaning against the wall with a stack of comics next to him. Frank stretched, poking Gerard slightly with his foot. In response, Gerard shoved his leg. Laughing, Frank poked him again.

"Stop."

"Sure, okay," Frank responded.

There was a knock on the door and Mikey poked his head in without waiting for a response. "Mom and dad are stopping at some restaurant for dinner or something, they just called the house phone. We can get takeout. Is Frank staying?"

Gerard glanced over at Frank, who propped himself up on one elbow. "If you don't mind…"

"Mom's paying me back, except I have no cash, so Gee, you gotta give me some."

"I'm meant to be the older sibling here."

After half an hour, they were all sitting on the couch, watching reruns on the television and eating pizza. Gerard hadn't eaten much, not that Frank or Mikey had (hopefully) noticed. He wasn't hungry, anyway.

When Frank had to leave, he hugged Gerard quickly. "That's my one blush for today," Frank told him.

Gerard couldn't help smiling.


	9. We Don't Hold Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Chapter 10 may be up a bit late (see previous chapter) but the angst is going to return in FULL FORCE in it :) You're welcome *tearful laughter of angst author*  
> Title Song: "Millions", Gerard Way

They'd known each other a month now.

It wasn't very long, not in the grand scheme of things, but Gerard hadn't had a proper friend since the sixth grade and- well, he guessed Frank _was_ his friend, then. Okay.

He was still _romantically inclined_ towards Frank, as much as he fought against it- but he still blushed whenever Frank so much as looked at him in a certain way and stared at the ceiling at night wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

As he left the house that morning, Frank was waiting by the gate, as he had been for the past week or so. Gerard didn't know why, but one day he had been there and neither of them had commented on it.

Frank greeted him and immediately started talking, occasionally brushing their fingers together as they walked. Gerard desperately hoped that he wasn't red, but he probably was.

"It's harder to get you to blush now," Frank commented. Maybe he wasn't blushing as much as he thought.

"Good," Gerard replied, half-heartedly glaring at him.

Frank stared at him for a second before taking his hand, lacing their fingers together. Gerard felt electric tingles running up his arm. He wrenched his hand away and strode off. He didn't want to be feeling like this and he could avoid it. Even if he didn't want to. Of course, he did want to, but even if he _did_ like it when Frank was holding his hand-

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard running footsteps behind him. The next second, Frank caught up with him, slowing to a walk.

"Gee, I'm sorry, I just…" Frank trailed off, biting his lip.

"We can't do that," Gerard informed him.

"What, holding hands? Why not?"

"Because people don't. That's why."

"Girls do."

"We aren't girls, Frankie, it doesn't work," Gerard pointed out, not fully realising what he'd said until Frank smirked and elbowed him.

" _Frankie?_ "

Gerard's face felt warm. He stared at the sidewalk as they walked.

"Hey. Gee. I'm just teasing, I don't mind," Frank said, reaching for his hand again. This time, Gerard let him- enjoying the feeling of Frank's palm pressed against his and the tips of his fingers grazing the back of his hand. As soon as they neared school, though, Gerard let go, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. Frank didn't protest and started complaining about the music essay he had due today that he'd gotten two days to do, while Gerard listened to him and nodded along.

He half wanted (though he would never admit it) to walk down the halls like all the other lame-ass couples at this school, holding hands or with their arms around each other or with their hands in each other's pockets.

God, he was so _fucked._

***

In the canteen at lunch, Frank sat next to him as had become normal, but this time was a little closer than normal. Gerard could feel the light pressure of Frank's thigh against his and tried desperately to ignore him.

"Uh- Frank?" Pete asked. Gerard looked up. The two groups of friends still hadn't interacted, so he couldn't help being surprised. "Are you and Gerard… well… like, a thing?"

"No!" Gerard replied defensively, ignoring the fact that Pete hadn't been addressing him. Pete raised his eyebrows, glancing over to Patrick. "Seriously," Gerard muttered.

Frank laughed. "We aren't dating, no idea how you got that one," He draped his arm over Gerard's shoulders. Gerard shoved him off. "Gee, eat something." Gerard rolled his eyes.

"I did, fuck off." He wasn't lying- he'd eaten half of his sandwich.

Frank looked like he wanted to respond, but just shrugged. Patrick and Pete had gone back to whatever conversation they'd been having before. He hoped they hadn't been listening to the last part of the conversation.

***

As soon as they were out of sight of the school, Frank took his hand again and Gerard relaxed a little. He'd spent the whole of his last two classes running through the short conversation they'd had at lunch. Why had Pete thought they were dating? And Frank was being… like _this_ , holding his hand and making him blush on purpose and… he didn't understand what was going on.

When they reached Gerard's house, Frank stood on his toes and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "See ya," Frank smiled, before turning and walking off. Gerard would guess that he was currently the color of a tomato and stood there staring after Frank for a few seconds before wrenching his gaze away and going inside for another evening of staring at his ceiling, trying to figure it all out.


	10. Damn Your Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter in 2 days, so sorry for any mistakes. As promised, the angst returns. Also, I'm now putting the song I got the chapter title from in the note, so you can check back to find out what they were from if you want to know :)
> 
> Title song: "Nicotine", Panic! At The Disco

The teacher hadn't showed up.

Which was bad, because English just so happened to be the only class Gerard had with Bert and Gerard did not want to end up talking to him.

Eventually, a substitute turned up and informed them they had study hall for the rest of the period. Gerard took out his sketchbook and started doodling in it whilst simultaneously explaining Frank's algebra homework to him (or, to put it another way, giving him the answers as he furiously scribbled them down).

"Hey," an unfortunately familiar voice called. Gerard looked up, but Bert wasn't talking to him. "Frank."

Frank looked up with an unreadable expression on his face. "Yeah?"

"I really don't know," Bert told him with a smirk on his face, "why the fuck you talk to that Gerard loser. You could have _friends_."

Gerard tried to ignore it, but Bert's dig at him hurt a little. He didn't let it show, though.

"He's my friend," Frank replied flatly. "Gee, what's question twelve?"

Gerard was probably blushing- and Bert had probably noticed- but he leaned over and started talking Frank through the math.

Bert continued speaking. "I mean, honestly. Come talk to us again. I heard that Emma's interested in you-"

"I'm not. Fuck off and stop being a dick. I actually couldn't care less."

People were staring, Gerard noticed. Frank raised an eyebrow and everyone turned away.

"Have it your way, then," Bert muttered angrily, turning to walk back to his desk.

Once the classroom chatter had resumed, Gerard turned to Frank. "Why'd you do that?"

"He was being rude about you. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I?" Frank shrugged like it was nothing.

It was the nicest thing anyone had done for him in ages.

***

Frank was coming back to Gerard's after school- but, this time, not for help with math- just to hang out, which was a bizarre concept to Gerard.

Like yesterday, as soon as they were out of range of school, Frank took Gerard's hand in his. Gerard's mood lightened a little. Frank smiled at him- that stupid megawatt smile that Gerard couldn't help but return.

So far, Gerard had avoided the inevitable meeting between Frank and his parents, but his mom had taken a day off work today. He was not looking forward to the inevitable comment about how she hadn't seen one of his friends in _ages_ while Mikey laughed in the corner.

As Gerard opened the door, he dropped Frank's hand. He didn't want any of his family assuming… well, anything.

"Gerard! How was school?" His mom stopped and noticed Frank. "Oh! Are you one of Gerard's friends from school? It's nice to meet you."

Frank nodded and smiled while Gerard awkwardly introduced him, then asked to go to his room.

"Yes, of course," she responded. "But remember, we're going out this evening with some friends from your dad's work. Wear something with color, please." Gerard rolled his eyes before escaping with Frank to his bedroom.

"You said you'd show me a picture of the art you were doing for class," Frank prompted him.

Gerard had forgotten all about that. He'd finished the 'love' project today and had taken a photo to show Frank after he asked. He opened his phone's gallery and passed it to Frank.

"That's really good," Frank told him. "What was the theme?"

"Love," Gerard replied flatly.

"Oh," Frank paused. "Do you even own any clothes with color, anyway?" He asked, changing the subject. Gerard couldn't blame him.

"I don't know…" Gerard walked over to his closet and started looking through his clothes. It was a hell lot of black.

He didn't notice Frank was next to him until he leaned past him and pointed out a jacket. "This is nice."

Gerard took the jacket out. It was a faded denim jacket he'd gotten from a thrift store a year or so ago and never worn. It had been too big when he'd gotten it, but as he put it on he realised it fit him well now.

"It looks really nice," Frank commented. "Hey, let me fix your collar..." Frank stood in front of him and straightened it. Gerard felt a tingle on his skin when Frank's hand accidentally brushed against his neck. Frank paused what he was doing, moving his hands to Gerard's shoulders. He gazed at Gerard for a second before cautiously leaning in and kissing him.

_Oh._

Frank's lips were warm and soft and Gerard found himself kissing him back. Frank sighed a little against his mouth and moved one hand to tangle in his hair.

That was when Gerard realised what he was doing.

He'd promised himself he'd ever do anything like this. He couldn't.

He pushed Frank away, stumbling back. No. He was not doing this.

"You should leave," Gerard said in a low voice.

"Gerard-"

"Don't. Just go."

Frank stared at Gerard for a second before turning around and leaving. As he opened the door, Gerard saw him wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

He wanted to say something, _anything_ , but Frank had already left.


	11. Just Walk Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter I feel bad for writing because angst, but it's what y'all signed up for! Hope you enjoy.  
> Title song: "The End.", My Chemical Romance

Gerard left ten minutes early the next day to avoid Frank.

He'd spent all night staring at the ceiling, his brain running too fast, and now his eyes burned from tiredness. He had shadows under his eyes like the charcoal smudges that covered his hands in art class.

Gerard half-slept through homeroom, then walked to English. Frank was already sitting at their normal desk, twisting around to see Gerard walking in. Avoiding all eye contact, Gerard took a seat at the back of the room, next to the window. Frank stared at him for a second longer, tugging on his lip ring, before turning around. Gerard felt a funny pain in his chest, but tried to ignore it, staring at the back of the girl sitting in front of him. He didn't want Frank to know how much he'd messed with Gerard's head.

It was probably written all over his face, though- the way he kept catching himself staring at Frank, running his fingers over his lips absentmindedly. He was being stupid, but he couldn't help it.

At the end of the class, Gerard tried to pack up his stuff and leave as quickly as possible, but Frank caught him.

"Gerard, I- I'm sorry," Frank told him quietly.

"Leave it," Gerard replied.

"Can we stay friends, at least?"

Gerard tried not to let the look Frank was giving him- full of hope and desperation and something else he couldn't quite tell- affect him. "I said, leave it." He pushed past Frank and strode out of the room, not looking back.

***

Gerard didn't want to go and sit at his normal lunch table today- Frank would have probably moved back to join Bert again and he couldn't face seeing Patrick and Pete's looks of confusion as to where Frank was. But they'd be too nice to ask him anything, which in some ways would make him feel worse.

He took his lunch outside, looking for a place to sit. The wind was freezing, as it was the middle of February, so there weren't many people outside. He could see a few, though- others trying to get away from the canteen, like him- and one couple making out against the side of the building, a few metres away.

Normally, he wouldn't have looked twice (just mentally made a comment about stupid PDA) but something kept him looking- whether it was the fact that the guy was the same height as the girl or his skinny jeans or the bleached sides of his hair- but something clicked and he realised it as _Frank_.

Turning away, Gerard felt a prickling sensation behind his eyelids. It wasn't until he tasted salt on his lips that he realised he was crying. _I'm being stupid_ , Gerard thought to himself, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and hoping nobody was looking. _I shouldn’t be upset. This is what I wanted to happen._

***

Gerard was walking across the parking lot when he got a text.

Frank: _please wait up and talk to me_

Frank: _i know you're mad but please talk to me_

After staring at his phone screen for a second, Gerard had decided to just ignore it- however, it turned out he didn't have a choice, as he felt a hand on his arm and knew without looking that it was Frank. Sighing, he removed an earphone.

"I know you're mad at me, because I…" Frank paused. "Well, anyway, I'm sorry."

Frank was right about one thing- Gerard was pissed off. But not about the- what had happened the other day. No, he was mad because Frank had gotten him to cry for the first time in years. That wasn't what he said, though.

Gerard could see other people from school walking past them. Parents with kids from the elementary school down the road, cars driving past. None of them, Gerard realised, gave a single fuck about what was going on.

"I saw you," Gerard informed him.

"What?" Frank frowned, but Gerard could read his body language well enough to know that he knew _exactly_ what.

"You. Kissing that girl."

And the world around them faded into the background as Gerard waited for a response.


	12. What Makes You So Special?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late, but I got to 1090 words, which is quite a lot for me, so I hope this makes up for it!
> 
> Title song: "w.a.m.s.", Fall Out Boy

"I can't believe you," Frank told him, raising his voice slightly. "One minute you don't like me and the next you do, what the fuck am I supposed to do about that?"

"I never-" Gerard swallowed, "I never said I didn't like you," he finished quietly, staring at the sidewalk.

"You act like you do."

The words stung. Hell, he knew other people thought like that about him, but he thought… he'd thought Frank thought differently.

"The reason you don’t have any friends isn't because you're gay. The _entire_ school isn't homophobic. It's because you're an asshole who can't make up his mind about anything."

The sidewalk was blurring, now. "No. It's because I didn't need friends," Gerard looked up at him. "This is why. It all turns to shit, in the end."

"Didn’t?" Frank enquired.

"Yeah. You fucked me up," Gerard mumbled.

Without warning, Frank stood up on his toes, wrapping his arms around Gerard, who glanced around to make sure nobody was near before letting himself be hugged.

"I'm sorry," Frank told him. "I shouldn't have said what I did about you and having friends. It's not true."

Gerard extracted himself from Frank's arms. "Let's walk. I don't like just standing here." Once they were moving, Gerard said, "You were right. I am a bitch."

"You aren't. I mean, you can be, but so can everyone."

Gerard just curled his fingers over his sweater sleeve. "Look, I'm just going to tell you this now. I… I like you. And everything. But we wouldn't date. Okay?"

"Why not?"

"Relationships never work. There's either the inevitably sad breakup or you're stuck with the same person for the rest of your life."

"'Stuck with' makes it sound bad. Don't you like the idea of staying with that one person who makes you happy?" Frank asked, at the same time sliding his hand into Gerard's, clasping it. Gerard let him.

"No, it's…" Gerard gestured with his free hand. "Most people just get stuck with the same person because they don't want to break it off."

Frank shrugged. "Most people, though. Not all of them. You can't say everyone's relationship is the same."

"Stop being so…"

"So what?"

"So… logical," Gerard sighed. Frank smiled back at him. They walked in silence for a few blocks, Gerard searching for something to say.

"I have a proposal," interjected Frank. Taking a breath, he continued, "We- we go on a date. Like, just so… so we know, right? That it's definitely a good idea that we don't go out? I just don't wanna waste it, if we like each other. If that makes sense."

Gerard bit his lip. On the one hand, he knew logically that relationships were stupid shit and it would all go wrong. But the way Frank was looking at him right now…

"Okay," said Gerard cautiously. Frank smiled broadly at him.

"Can I come in? We can, like, talk more about what we're going to do and stuff." Gerard hadn't noticed, but they were standing outside his house. He nodded.

Once they were in Gerard's room, Frank began talking, first suggesting going out for food.

"I don't eat in public," Gerard informed him. "I thought you'd realised."

Frank paused. "Oh. That's why you weren't eating that time in the canteen? Shit. I feel bad for bringing that up at the time."

"It's fine."

"And the one time I was over when you had dinner-"

"I normally eat fine at home. It was just because you were there," Gerard replied, before realising what he'd said and wincing. "Fuck, I didn't mean-"

"No, don't worry. Anything you want to do, then?"

There was one thing Gerard had been planning on going to by himself, but couldn't help imagine going with Frank.

"It's stupid," he mumbled.

"Go on," Frank prompted.

"There's, um, a photography exhibition I wanted to go to?"

"That sounds good. I took photography at my old school, but they don't offer it here."

Gerard couldn't help but feel a little excited flutter in the pit of his stomach. _Dammit._

They agreed to meet after Gerard finished work the next day. Gerard was pretty sure he wouldn't sleep well that night, but for pretty different reasons to the night before.

***

After spending his day being overly distracted- so much so that Ray had asked him what he looked so happy about- Gerard was now standing outside the gallery, ten minutes early and feeling even more sure that the whole dating thing was a bad idea because he was so _fucking nervous._

He kept tugging on the sleeves of his jacket- the same one he'd worn when Frank had kissed him. Maybe Frank would kiss him today. He wasn't sure what he wanted any more.

When Frank turned up, Gerard was relieved- Frank was exceptional at distracting him from his thoughts.

Walking around the exhibition, they took it in turns to cover the placards and make the other guess the location. Frank, it turned out, was awful at geography, guessing Chicago for Seattle, Paris for London.

It wasn't until they were halfway round that Gerard realised that they were holding hands in a public place with other people there who would be assuming that they were a couple. Apart from one old lady who kept glaring at them (Frank joked that she 'probably had a Bible up her ass'), nobody seemed to care. Which was strange. It felt even weirder when they left the gallery and walked down the street, still holding hands and still largely unnoticed by the majority. A few parents made a point of steering their children out of the way, but Gerard realised he couldn't give a fuck and felt kind of happy with… this.

Once they reached Gerard's front gate, they both just stood there, an awkward goodbye.

"That was nice," offered Gerard, probably blushing. Frank nodded, before leaning in a little, pausing to let Gerard know what he was going to do.

Gerard did not object.

He'd almost forgotten how good Frank's mouth felt on his, he realised. Maybe he'd wanted to forget, so he wouldn't do _this_ again. Gerard didn't really want to forget this time.

After a few seconds, Frank pulled away. Gerard couldn't hide the stupid grin spreading across so he cast his eyes down.

Frank kissed him quickly on the cheek, telling Gerard he'd see him on Monday. Gerard's only coherent thought was _shit._

 _There's an exception to every rule,_ he decided. Frank could be his.


	13. Your Hopeless Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I relate to how confused Gerard is about everything in this chapter. Me too. Also, I have no idea how much longer this fic will go on for, but I think it'll end before a chapter 20.
> 
> Title song: "Thank You For The Venom", My Chemical Romance

Gerard closed the door behind him, hearing it click shut, before immediately retreating to his room, assuming his parents had heard him come in. He decided to start on some homework, but hadn't even turned on his laptop before Mikey waltzed in.

"Thanks for knocking," said Gerard flatly, drumming his fingers on his desk.

"How was your hot date?"

Gerard looked up. "What date?"

"Don't act dumb. If Frank hadn't asked you out by now I would have set you up," Mikey added, smirking.

Frowning, Gerard pointed out, "I don't think I ever even came out to anyone in this family, how the fuck did you-"

"You didn't need to come out. I figured it out ages ago and mom asked me if you were going out with 'that nice boy who was over the other day'." Gerard sighed, closing his eyes. "You know none of us give a shit. If it makes you feel better, I think dad's utterly clueless."

Gerard picked at his jeans. "Anyway, it was alright. I think."

"From what I've heard, nice guys are hard to find. Keep him." They sat for a minute in silence, before Mikey asked, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Gerard blinked. "No. I don't- he isn't- just no," Gerard mumbled.

Once Mikey had left, he rolled the word around in his head. _Boyfriend_. To him, it implied clichés and love and sex. All things that he thought were bullshit. He wouldn't call Frank his boyfriend, just someone… someone he kissed sometimes. And had been on a date with once. That was all, though.

***

Gerard never normally dreamed, but that night he did- of the date, remembering every finite detail, down to Frank's fingers brushing against the back of his hand as they stood in front of the photographs, electric tingles running up his arm. But as Frank was about to kiss him, he stared at Gerard for a second before saying, "You aren't worth it."

His eyes snapped open and he gazed into the dark for a second. This was why he didn't like dreams- they were really fucking confusing and he didn't know what the hell was going on in his subconscious. He couldn't be stressing about whether Frank cared about him or not- they just happened to like each other, but it wouldn't have mattered if Frank hadn't liked him back. _It's nice that he does, though_ , Gerard mused, before sighing and rolling over.

Nothing made sense at night.

***

When Frank met Gerard to walk to school the next morning, he kissed him on the cheek, before grabbing his hand and starting towards school. Gerard realised he probably looked like a tomato, so stared straight ahead as Frank talked, trying not to catch Frank's eye, which did nothing, as Frank poked Gerard's cheek with one finger. "Cute," he commented.

"Shut up, Frankie," he mumbled, pulling his hand out of Frank's and shoving it into his jacket pocket.

"Gee, c'mon." Frank pushed his hand into Gerard's pocket as well, smiling.

Once they were near school, Gerard pushed Frank's hand from his pocket. Just because of what had happened yesterday didn't mean they were going to be publicly a couple. He didn't even know if they _were_. Was being a couple the same as being boyfriends? He made a mental note to look it up later.

As he did every morning, Gerard sat at the back of his homeroom class, drawing in his notebook. He was halfway through a sketch before he realised it was Frank. Okay, he needed to stop. When the teacher called his name in the register, it took him a second to process and answered hurriedly, getting a few laughs. _I have so many friends_ , Gerard thought to himself sarcastically.

English class was a relief, just because Frank was there. While the teacher rambled on about Romeo and Juliet, Frank's fingers brushed against Gerard's under the desk, before resting on top of his. Gerard pulled his hands into his lap, twisting them together, glancing around to make sure no-one had noticed.

For the whole class, Frank kept making contact with Gerard in one way or another- ankles, fingertips, even tucking Gerard's hair behind his ears at one point, every time causing Gerard to feel paranoid that somebody had noticed, even though he knew perfectly well that they were either listening or on their phones under the desk (most people falling into the latter camp). Still, he didn't want anyone to know what was going on with them. He could keep a secret.


	14. I Got Your Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was meant to be writing more angst in this chapter, but that would be marking the beginning of the end of this fic, so I put it off for another chapter… but it should be in the next chapter (oH BOY).  
> Title song: "Dear Maria, Count Me In", All Time Low

Gerard had finished all his homework and was alternating between refreshing Tumblr on his laptop and staring at the ceiling contemplating his existence when his phone buzzed.

He assumed it was his one of his parents, texting to say that they were going to be late back from work, but when he picked his phone up to send some generic reply, it was Frank. _it's teacher development tomorrow right?_

Gee: _Oh yeah._

Frank: _why tf do they have it on a tuesday they could give us a three day weekend but NO_

Gee: _That's probably the point. Teachers are all sadists._

Frank: _anyway it looks like it's gonna be nice tomorrow so i was gonna go to the park and take some photos, you want to come with me?_

After a few seconds of wondering if he should just make up an excuse, he remembered that he actually kind of liked spending more time than strictly necessary with Frank. He still wasn't used to this- this enjoying company.

Gee: _Sure._

Frank: _also you know how I left you my phone number_

Frank: _i didn't leave it like that on purpose i was gonna give it to you then I decided not to which is why I screwed it up_

Gerard stared at his phone for a second, before smiling a little to himself. He couldn't help considering the coincidence that he'd picked up the paper - would it have affected how everything was now? Or would it all have worked out the same? Hell, who knew. At least it had.

***

The next morning, Gerard finally acknowledged that the years of his life he had spent not giving a shit about what other people thought of him seemed to have passed, as he spent five minutes trying in vain to make his hair not look awful before giving up and just deciding to put a hat over it. He picked up his smallest sketchbook and a mechanical pencil- the times he didn't bring them with him were always the times that he saw something that was perfect to draw.

It was practically empty in the park, seeing as most people were at school or work or had better ideas than going outside in early February. _Still_ , Gerard thought, _it's not that cold_. Just then, he spotted Frank waving at him, making Gerard smile despite himself.

"Hi," Frank said.

"It's too early to be outside on a day off school, I'm sacrificing my sleep for this," Gerard told him jokingly. 

"Sure you'll live," said Frank, linking arms with Gerard- so they were publicly _together_ again- and told Gerard to show him parts of the park that were 'the most aesthetic'. So Gerard took him to the lake, which was surrounded by trees on the opposite side and was still partially frozen from last week's freezing weather. Frank immediately started lining up a shot, crouching on the floor to balance his camera on the edge of the lake. Gerard waited a few seconds before taking out his sketchbook and starting to draw. Once he'd filled in the vague outlines of the surroundings, he started to draw Frank- then continued to focus on him, adding the shading and the folds of his clothes, leaving the scenery as a sketchy background.

Frank kept moving around, but Gerard didn't really mind, stepping a little to one side or another himself. He lost track of time after a while, until Frank stood up and turned around. Gerard tried to put his sketchbook away before Frank noticed, but he was too slow.

"That's really good," Frank murmured. This and the fact that Frank was so close to him that Gerard could feel his warm breath on the side of his neck made Gerard push Frank away from him a little, feeling heat rising in his face.

"I," Gerard paused. "I always wanted to draw you. You're… you're pretty, Frankie," Gerard's voice got quieter as he spoke until he was basically whispering.

Frank shrugged, stepping back from him. "Thanks. And go ahead," Frank added.

"Okay. Uh- go sit down over there?" Gerard gestured towards the bench behind them that he'd neglected to use the whole time he'd been drawing before. When Frank sat down, Gerard sat on the other side of him, removing his sketchbook from his jacket pocket once again and starting to sketch, but this time not even starting to focus on everything else, keeping his eyes on Frank's face or the page as he drew.

Frank _was_ really pretty, Gerard mused- hazel eyes and smooth skin and lips that he knew were soft. Half-way through, Gerard put his sketchbook down onto his lap, leaning forward to kiss Frank quickly, before pulling away and continuing to draw with no comment from either of them.

He was becoming the sort of person he'd always hated and was enjoying every damn second.


	15. Love Never Wanted Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is: this chapter was a little painful to write. But Gerard is still a good boyfriend. Sort of.
> 
> Title song: "XO", Fall Out Boy

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Frank called to Gerard the moment he opened the door that morning.

Gerard sighed. "Fucking hell, don't tell me you subscribe to all that."

"No, it just annoys you. Which is kinda cute."

They settled into their normal pattern of conversation, Frank's hand warm in his. Half-way down the street, Frank stopped, looked around, then stood up on his toes and kissed Gerard, before continuing to walk, tugging Gerard after him. Gerard was still getting his head around _this_ \- these emotions and weird… attachment he felt towards Frank. It was nice, though, in a weird way.

At school, like every other Valentine's, Gerard thought _I have never seen so much PDA in my entire life_. He commented on it to Frank, who agreed and suggested that Gerard came back to his house after school.

Homeroom was even worse than usual- everyone was gossiping about who was going out with who in the evening and how sad it was that whatever couple had broken up the day before and _wow they are, like, so goals?_ A small huddle of the super-popular girls were sitting around one desk and, from what Gerard could hear, were discussing which guy would have sent carnations to any girl who didn't fit their stupidly narrow idea of attractiveness.

Walking to class, trying his best to ignore everyone, Gerard overheard a shout of "Faggots!" and subsequent laughter. Like all of the other people in the halls, he looked over to see what was going on. Pete and Patrick seemed to have decided to show what the rest of the school saw as excessive affection for a gay couple in small-town New Jersey- holding hands as they went to first period. But all the straight couples pressed up against the lockers, seemingly trying to eat each other's faces? That was okay, apparently. _Idiots_ , Gerard thought.

He reached his English class and sat down next to Frank, who was spinning a carnation between his thumb and forefinger.

"I got this. You can have it if you want."

"I'll pass," Gerard replied, feeling a little jealous that someone else was flirting with Frank, even though he wasn't his boyfriend or anything.

Frank just shrugged, and when they left the classroom he left the flower behind on the desk.

***

Frank unlocked the door and held it open to Gerard. "Mom's at a conference, so…" Gerard nodded, ducking under Frank's arm and looking around. It looked similar to Gerard's house, but tidier. He followed Frank upstairs. The walls were lined with Frank's school photos- from kindergarten Frank with a massive grin, to what Gerard assumed was his photo from last year.

Frank's room was messy, with piles of comics and books on the floor and clothes over the back of his desk chair. "Should've cleaned up…" Frank apologized.

"It's fine." Gerard perched on the edge of Frank's bed. Frank sat next to him, tracing Gerard's jawline with his fingertip. After a moment, he moved away. "Wanna watch something? I have Netflix on my laptop."

"Sure."

Once they had decided on a movie ( _The Fault In Our Stars_ , because Frank insisted it was great), Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder, who automatically wrapped his arm around Frank. Even though this definitely seemed like boyfriend behavior, he didn't stop, instead playing lightly with Frank's hair.

They weren't even ten minutes into the movie when Frank paused it and kissed him.

It was like everything else disappeared and all that remained was Frank's lips against his. A hand running through his hair. Then Frank's lips parted and so did Gerard's, and suddenly Gerard could taste him, sugar-sweet.

They pulled apart. Every stupid cliché about how attractive Frank looked was running through his head, which he equal parts hated and agreed with.

Frank observed him for a second before saying, "I love you."

"No you don't." The words were out of Gerard's mouth before he knew what he was saying. Frank moved away.

"Gerard, I thought-"

"Look. There are some things that come with- with relationships that I'll accept. But love?" he drew a breath. "Love is bullshit. It's just made up and even if it was real, it breaks things more often than it fixes them."

"Not everything that falls gets broken," Frank murmured, his quiet tone a contract to Gerard's raised voice, and _shit_ was he crying?

Gerard pulled Frank into his arms, holding him close against his chest. Frank resisted for a second, before relaxing. Gerard could feel his body shaking a little. He ran his thumb across Frank's cheek, wiping away his tears, resting his head on top of Frank's.

"Sorry."


	16. He Didn't Come and Speak To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and fluff!! Basically the reasons y'all read this fic in one chapter, so I hope you enjoy :D
> 
> Title song: "Hurricane", Panic! At The Disco

Frank's voice sounded choked. "Please. Just go." Gerard didn't move. "Gerard. I need you to leave."

Gerard stood up, ignoring every instinct telling him to stay and keep apologising and trying to comfort Frank, instead picking up his bag and walking out of Frank's room, down the stairs. He paused for a second at the doorway, half-hoping that Frank would call him to come back. When he didn't, Gerard opened the door and left.

What had he _done_?

He cared about Frank, but that didn't mean he loved him. Until he got home, that was all he let himself think. But once he'd turned on his laptop, he let himself consider the possibilities.

Or the possibility. Singular.

love  
lʌv/  
noun  
1\. a strong feeling of affection.

Definitions weren't much help, then.

Gerard didn't believe in love. Never had.

But Frank made his day better just by being in it. Gerard had a sketchbook that he used just to draw Frank because he was so perfect to draw. Felt upset when Frank was. He'd never shared so much about himself with anyone, either- which wasn't saying much, true, but he felt like he could talk about things with him.

He trusted Frank and valued his life more than his own. Was that love?

Everything had been simpler before Frank had turned up in his life.

Not as good, but simpler.

***

The next day, Frank was waiting for him at his gate.

"Hi."

"Hey," Frank muttered, staring at the ground.

They walked in silence for a while, before Gerard decided to actually make a move and took Frank's hand. Frank didn't pull away immediately, but after a few minutes he let go.

This was almost worse than Frank just not talking to him. At least if he was ignoring him, Gerard would know where he stood. As it was, he had no idea what was going on and how he could make it better.

Once they got to school, Frank immediately left him, instead of staying with Gerard until homeroom like he usually did.

This sort of thing was the entire reason Gerard had been sceptical about dating- relying too much on another person, so when something went wrong you were just… lost. Lost and confused. He hadn't realised how much he'd liked their conversations and holding hands on the way to school until Frank seemed to be trying to end it.

In English, the only thing they discussed was the work, which hadn't happened since- well, ever. At first, they'd not talked at all, then they'd spent the lessons continuing their chats from before school (which were never relevant to the work they were doing) and copying off of each other.

He wondered about holding Frank's hand- maybe trying to be publicly affectionate would make Frank feel better- but Frank kept one hand under his chin and his pen in the other, so he couldn't.

***

Frank wasn't at their lunch table.

Patrick wasn't, either, but by the fact that Pete was eating and reading a book at the same time instead of looking around for him, he knew where his boyfriend was. Unlike Gerard.

Wait, did he just mentally refer to Frank as his _boyfriend_? He pushed it out of his mind.

"Pete?" Gerard asked cautiously.

Pete stopped reading. "Yeah?"

"Have you… do you know where Frank is?"

"Think he went outside. Why?"

Gerard paused. "I fucked something up."

Leaving the canteen, he couldn't help but remember the last time Frank had gone outside at lunch without mentioning it before. Except it would be worse this time, because they were something now. Probably.

He could hear voices from round the corner of the building.

"…it's just difficult, you know?" Frank was saying.

"Yeah. I can see it from his side, though." It was Patrick. "My family is really homophobic, so it took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I could feel like this about a guy without it being wrong or a sin or whatever. That might not be exactly how it is for Gerard, but it's hard to get over something you've believed for so long."

"I mean, when I first knew him he didn't even believe in dating. So it got better, I guess, I just wish it was easier."

Gerard could imagine Patrick giving Frank the same small smile he gave Gerard every day when he sat down at lunch. "Give it time. Trust me."

He couldn't just stand here any longer. Taking a deep breath, he stepped around the corner. "Frank?" Frank looked up. "Can we talk?"

"Okay." Frank nodded at Patrick. "Thanks." Patrick took the hint and walked away.

Now they were alone, standing outside in the icy air that nobody with any sense wanted to venture out into, Gerard had no idea what to say. _I care about you so much and you make everything better, even if it's complicated, but I don't love you_? Was the last part of that even true? So he just said it- "I love you."

Frank looked as surprised as Gerard felt at the words coming out of his mouth, but only for a second. Then his face went blank. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Frankie. It scares me. Don't do this. I'm being honest."

Frank stared at him for a second before smiling a little and replying, "I love you too."

In the back of his mind, Gerard was aware that neither of them were wearing jackets and that anyone could walk past, but he didn't care.

Kissing Frank, in that moment, seemed like the right thing to do.


	17. Dance, Dance, We're Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the penultimate chapter and I'm really not ready for this to finish… there will also be an epilogue and I have a few ideas for other fics after this (*whispers* peterick)
> 
> Title song: "Dance, Dance", Fall Out Boy

The next day at school, all anyone was talking about was the fact that the junior dance (which Gerard had managed to completely forget existed) was in three weeks. From listening to the girls sitting behind him and Frank in English, everyone else had been too busy being overdramatic about Valentine's that they'd forgotten the dance was so soon, because last year the juniors had had a prom, but this year the school couldn't afford it so they now had a dance in the gym which was, according to the girls, _so middle school_.

"Gerard?" Frank's voice pulled him out of his reproving train of thought.

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever been to prom here?"

"Take a wild guess," Gerard replied flatly.

Frank laughed a little. "Yeah, okay." He pulled on his lip ring with his teeth, which was cute. "Ever wanted to go?"

Gerard stared at him for a second. "Not really." It took a second before he noticed the expression on Frank's face. "Wait. Was that you asking me, or…"

"I mean, yeah, but if you don't wanna go then it doesn’t matter."

Felling like a bad person, Gerard shrugged and muttered something about it not being his thing. "Sorry," he added.

"No, it's fine." Frank looked a little disappointed, though. Gerard wondered what it would be like to go to the dance with Frank. Matching ties and laughing at everyone who was going over the top and slow dancing and after- Gerard shook his head. Frank raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

***

At lunch, Patrick and Pete were also discussing whether to go or not.

"It could turn out like homecoming in sophomore year," Patrick was saying. "I don't want that to happen again."

"Yeah, but it could be like homecoming _this_ year and that was okay, wasn't it?"

Patrick shrugged.

"Uh- what happened sophomore year?" Frank asked cautiously. Gerard was pretty sure he knew what they were talking about, but listened in anyway.

"To put a long story short, we got beaten up," Pete told him.

"I remember that," Gerard said. Pete looked at him in surprise. "You didn't come into school for a few days, right?"

"Yeah. Didn’t realise you noticed." Gerard didn't reply. "Are you guys going?"

Frank shook his head. "Gerard doesn't want to."

"It's not that bad," Pete said. "You seem like you don't really give a shit about what people say. The getting beaten up thing was a one-off."

Frank was watching Gerard cautiously. "You want to go, don't you?" Gerard asked him quietly. Frank didn't reply, but his cheeks colored- the first time Gerard had ever seen him blush. "Might as well, then," Gerard said, trying to sound casual but, in truth, feeling a little excited.

***

Frank: _gerard_

Gee: _What?_

Frank: _so i mentioned to my mom that i was going to the dance and she asked if I had a date_

Frank: _and i said yes_

Frank: _she said that she's gonna be out of town from that day for the entire weekend so she wants to meet you 'before i let you have the house to yourself'_

Gee: _Shit_

Frank: _she's chill but yeah are you free tomorrow_

Gerard put down his phone for a second. Tomorrow? He wondered about lying, but Frank was his entire social life, so he'd know.

Gee: _I mean yeah_

Frank: _can you come over after school then just for a few hours_

Gerard's inner monologue, which normally had something sarcastic or funny to say, was currently just the word _FUCK_.

***

The next day at school passed in a blur of anxiety and Frank trying to assure him that it was going to go fine, which Gerard knew in reality was probably true, but he still kept thinking of everything that could go wrong, all resulting in him never being allowed to see Frank again.

Frank had his arm wrapped around Gerard's waist for the entire walk back to his house, which felt a little uncomfortable, but nice at the same time.

"Mom!" Frank called out as he opened the door, removing his arm and taking Gerard's hand instead.

"How was school?"

"Fine. This is Gerard," Frank said, like his mom had not noticed that Gerard was standing next to him, even though he was the tallest person out of the three of them.

"Nice to meet you," Gerard mumbled, awkwardly shaking her hand.

"Good to finally meet you," she replied. Gerard realised the implication was that Frank had mentioned him to his mom before and tried not to smile.

That evening wasn't as bad as Gerard had thought- him and Frank went to Frank's room and made out for an hour or so, Frank's hand up the back of his shirt, tracing over his shoulder blades. Then they had dinner, where Frank's mom asked the generic 'What do you like at school/do you have college plans?' questions that Gerard was used to from family gatherings.

Frank offered to walk Gerard home. As soon as they were out of the house, Frank smiled at him and said, "She really likes you. You were nice."

"Not like normal, then?" Gerard joked.

Frank rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Gerard just shrugged, but inside he couldn't deny that he was happy.

For the first time in his life, he had a date to a dance. And it was a boy who he loved.


	18. Turn The Lights Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The final chapter. I'm gonna save all the sappy thank-yous for the note at the start of the epilogue (which will be up within a week, hopefully), but I honestly can't believe Walk This World Alone is coming to an end- I've spent over six months of my life on this, including all the planning I did beforehand. So, yeah. Enjoy.
> 
> Title song: "Love At First Sight," The Brobecks

Gerard was really nervous.

He was sitting on the edge of the couch, playing with his tie and looking at his phone about every ten seconds to check the time. _A school dance isn't worth getting this stressed about_ , he thought to himself.

"You're going back to your date's house after, aren’t you?" his mom asked. Since mentioning the dance to his mom, Gerard had noticed that she'd never referred to 'the girl' or 'her'. The same couldn't be said for his dad, but, like Mikey had said, Gerard was pretty sure he was clueless.

"Yeah. Staying over?" he added, hoping he wasn't pushing it too far.

His mom frowned for a second. "Fine," she decided, giving Gerard a look that he didn't understand.

There was a knock at the door and Gerard got up to answer it. Of course, it was Frank. Gerard took a moment to look at him- they'd decided that because it wasn't prom or anything, they'd keep it more low-key- no tuxedos or boutonnieres, just standard shirts and ties (matching red ties) and Frank looked, well, pretty good.

Frank stood up on his toes and kissed Gerard on the cheek. "You look… handsome," Gerard managed, feeling stupid but being rewarded by seeing Frank blush for the second time ever.

"I got you flowers."

"I- thanks." Gerard noticed Mikey hanging over the banister, grinning. He'd probably heard the entire awkward exchange. Gerard flipped him off and Frank laughed. "Hang on." Gerard took the flowers and went back to the living room. "Mom, can you put these in a vase or something? Frank got them for me." His mom did not seem the least bit surprised at the mention of Frank's name- just took the flowers and commented on how 'sweet' it was of him.

"Is your date here? Can I meet her?" Gerard's dad asked, coming in from the kitchen. Gerard could see his mom trying not to laugh.

"Sure." This was going to be interesting. Gerard opened the door and stepped back into the hall, where Frank was still standing. "Dad, this is Frank, my- my boyfriend." The words sounded strange coming from his mouth, like speaking a word in a foreign language you'd only ever pronounced in your head. His dad seemed to be attempting to not look as surprised as he obviously was.

Frank, thankfully, managed to deal with the awkwardness, introducing himself politely but at the same time managing to get them out in a short amount of time. As soon as they were outside, he turned to Gerard. "You didn't tell him?"

"No. My mom and Mikey had already figured. I thought one of them might tell him."

Frank laughed, conversation pausing for a second as they got into his car. "By the look on his face, I guess they didn't."

There was silence for a few seconds, before Frank started singing along to the CD now playing.

_Oh, how it's been so long…_

***

They pulled up outside of the school building and sat there for a few seconds. "Right, fuck it," Frank said, getting out of the car and gesturing to Gerard to do the same. He moved to stand next to Frank, who took his hand. "They're gonna figure us out anyway, Gee," Frank told him quietly.

People openly stared as they walked into the building. The school had made some form of an effort to decorate the gym. About half the people (probably the ones who had snuck alcohol in) were dancing, and the other half were standing around looking awkward. Gerard could guess which half him and Frank would fall into.

The evening wasn't that bad, considering how awful he'd anticipated it to be. He and Frank stuck with Patrick and Pete- forming a sort of gay squad in the corner, talking and half-dancing to the awful music.

When the first slow song started and Frank asked Gerard to dance, he said yes. He ignored the stares and smiled. Because this was a massive 'fuck you' to everyone here who had made his life hell. Bert was glaring at him, and Monday was going to be hell, but right now he didn't care.

***

At Frank's, they went to his room and just stared at each other for a second.

"Well," Frank said, before leaning in and kissing him. And he could feel Frank's hands at his collar, fumbling with his tie, and Gerard knew he could tell Frank to stop but his heart and body were both yelling _YES_. It was just his mind telling him that Frank would not want to see him shirtless.

Frank had undone Gerard's shirt, now, and pulled away from him, watching him cautiously. He shrugged off his shirt. Looking at Frank looking at him. Then tugging on Frank's wrist, leading him over to the bed.

And it was beautiful. _They_ were beautiful.

***

Gerard was lying with his head on Frank's chest. He was considering getting dressed, but he also didn't want to get up. Frank was playing with his hair and he was quite content just staying here.

"Hey, Frankie?"

"Yeah?" Frank paused his hair stroking.

"I love you," Gerard informed him. "Like, a lot."

"I love you a lot, too." It was dark, but Gerard could hear the smile in his voice.

 _I'm the type of loser I said I'd never be_ , Gerard thought.

But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.


	19. I Am Not Afraid (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The end of Walk This World Alone. Massive thanks to Yuri (for beta reading), Sarah (for letting me bounce ideas off her in form even though she doesn't even ship frerard), all my friends (for listening to me not shutting up about this fic for six months) and everyone who read this. Special thanks to everyone on AO3 for getting this to 1K reads! In case you're wondering, in this fic Bandit is their adopted kid.  
> EDIT: I made a playlist of all the songs in the titles on Spotify: here
> 
> Title song: "Famous Last Words", My Chemical Romance

**15 years later**

Frank turned his key in the door, pushing it open. He kicked off his shoes and walked into the living room.

"Hey, Frankie." Gerard smiled at him and it was stupid how that still gave him butterflies. But it did.

Gerard was sitting on the floor, surrounded by a mess of action figures and comics, with their daughter Bandit perched on his lap.

"Nice to see you both," Frank said, bending down to kiss Gerard quickly and hug Bandit. Gerard had glow-in-the-dark star stickers stuck to his face. Frank raised an eyebrow questioningly and Gerard shrugged. "We were going to space," he explained. "How was work?"

"Good. Weddings are my favourite to photograph." Frank touched his own wedding band. Reminding himself that _this_ was real.

"I'll go and start making dinner." Gerard nudged Bandit from his knee.

"I can-"

"You've been at work all day. Stay and play with Bandit," Gerard told him, before getting up to go to the kitchen.

Frank half-concentrated on Bandit's game, letting his mind wander. It always went to the bad times before the good. Breaking up with Gerard for two weeks, senior year, because he hated getting yelled at and beaten up. Calling his father for the first time in years as him and Gerard sat in their new and shitty apartment, just after graduating college, to tell his dad that he was engaged. His dad cut the call on the word 'boyfriend'.

Crying at his own wedding because only his mom's half of his family was there.

"You look sad," Bandit informed him.

"I'm good," Frank replied. Which was actually true, despite all the bad stuff that had happened. He was here now. Everything that came before it was worth it.

After dinner and putting Bandit to bed, they curled up on the couch together, Gerard resting his head on Frank's chest, flipping through the channels. They ended up watching reruns of various second-rate comedy shows before Frank commented that sleep would be less boring. Gerard agreed.

Now, Gerard was shirtless, trying to find his pajama shirt. Frank wrapped himself around him from behind, kissing Gerard's shoulder blade. Gerard laughed, straightening up so Frank had to let go, running a hand through his hair (which he'd dyed red the other week). "I'll find it tomorrow."

Frank remembered self-conscious Gerard, tensing up as Frank undid his shirt the night after that school dance. They'd both changed a lot, Frank mused, as they crawled under the sheets together, Frank automatically pressing his face into Gerard's chest, tangling their legs together.

But, if you looked at it from another perspective, he thought, all that had really changed was that Frank's amazing boyfriend was now his amazing husband.


End file.
